TLV: IC Inbox

[statementfuckingends]

You've reached Timothy Stoker, leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you.

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[epistemological]

[ A BLUSTERY noise. ]

...would you care to explain?

[statementfuckingends]

Feral housecat vibes.

[epistemological]

Yes, well, not for much longer, to be fair. Soon enough, you'll be the only cat of the two of us.




...'feral house cat'? Really?

[statementfuckingends]

Yeah, like. You used to be a regular stand-offish nerd with a huge personal space bubble, then everything happened, like- you got locked out of the house and had to fend for yourself for a bit? Now you're back in the house being pampered and spoiled and like people again.

Shen Wei's still at the stage where he's just been let back inside.

[...God, there's something so suspicious about the way Jon's phrasing that and he can't quite pin it.]

[epistemological]

...I'd like to point out that I still have a large personal space bubble. It's just that you're back inside of it, by choice, mind you.

But I do take your meaning. How's it going so far?

[statementfuckingends]

Oh, yeah, so does Shen. Turns out forcibly invading it with relentless cheer works on him about as well as it did on you back in the day. Knocks the icy emotional repression right out of him.

[epistemological]

You are the expert at that. Something about your face I've never quite managed to figure out.

It's deeply frustrating.

[statementfuckingends]

What can I say? I've been told I have a very open, honest face. By like, a surprising number of the sweet old ladies I've done follow-up on in the past.

[epistemological]

The sweet old ladies we literally paid you to lie through your teeth to.

[statementfuckingends]

Well, yeah - but, I'm honest emotionally!

[epistemological]

Well, you're not wrong there. Though I shudder to think how many biscuits and how much tea you had to stomach during all of that.

[statementfuckingends]

Still not as many as Martin~!

[It's a triumphant sing-song tone.]

The Rentoul statement really screwed up our scorecard on that one, uh-- statement 0112..9... 05?

[epistemological]

...I've never understood why you memorized the numbers. It's much easier to just say 'the awful one with the puzzle piece anatomy issue' or somesuch.

[statementfuckingends]

Because some of us interacted with the students actually writing their dissertations, and it's a bit awkward when they use the number, and you have to go and glance at the transcript and end up blurting out "Oh, yeah, the worm sex statement!"

[epistemological]

[ Huff. ]

As if they aren't going to read it in twenty minutes and discover it's the worm sex statement.

[statementfuckingends]

Clearly you've never had the misfortune of the room going suddenly quiet in the moments before you say it. People think we're weird enough without that coming out of our mouths.

[epistemological]

I absolutely have. I just don't particularly mind. Why be delicate about such things? The statement certainly isn't.

[statementfuckingends]

And Jonathan Sims's extraordinary sense of social awareness strikes again.

[epistemological]

...no one hired me to be lovely, Tim. And if they did, that's their own foolishness.