He lifts his free hand to rub down his face, but there's a despairing laugh in his exhale. "Ohhhhh my god, it was such a cult. Inmates there were Novices, the Admiral equivalent was the Deacon. It made the Lightless Flame look subtle."
He finally reaches over for his tea again. "Strange told me he wanted to help me find enlightenment."
Why would they talk about the Galley? Tim has so much drama to unload.
"Apparently I was enough of a pressure pot of sheer unadulterated rage that I couldn't possibly be left to my own devices for a second longer than necessary."
"That's my temper, thank you very much," he says cheerfully. "And I'm not letting some stupid Stepford ship brainwash it out of me. One of the long-timers told me, people only seemed to graduate when they've decided they'd like to stay on board."
Tim's smirk is his own quiet huff. "Don't worry, boss. Being tactful about horrible trauma is my middle name. I'm probably going to put a proper report together on everything later for posterity's sake."
"I would greatly appreciate that," he says, though he's starting to sound a little fuzzy. Sleep comes easier when he feels safe and right now? He feels safe.
"Are you- I'm assuming you're glad to be back here."
He looks up.
"Jacobi is graduated. I don't think I ever asked if you were planning to stay for anything else."
He tilts his head slightly so he can meet Jon's gaze.
"I've got another deal I want." His voice is soft, quiet like he's trying not to get his own hopes up. "Giving everyone back the memories the Not-Them took."
That makes Jon wake up a little, something tremulous and careful in his own eyes, before he reaches an arm across to give him a hard squeeze. It's not quite a hug as a wordless need to express something words aren't quite adequate for.
"Good," and his voice is a little hoarse with all that. "I'm here for another as well, though Daniel's... got some time to go."
Tim's arm squeezes Jon's shoulders as well, when he gets that sincere cling, and his hand comes up somewhat automatically to run his fingers through Jon's hair.
"I'm planning on sticking around," he says quietly. "For as long as you need me."
"Jon-" there's no annoyance there, just-- exasperation, and a soft kind of sadness. "It's not-- you're not holding me back, here, don't ever think that."
His hand stills, and he puts his mug down again. "I... I don't have anything back home, right now. That I want to stay for. Sasha's alive, yeah, but..."
He doesn't remember her. And he can't do that to himself. He refuses to. So he's quiet for a minute, mulling it over.
"...I don't have a life outside the Institute, you know?" He's not looking at Jon, just staring at a spot near the door. "That's not me being self-deprecating, I just... you three were the first meaningful- real connections I had since Danny died. Everyone else was research follow-up, or a one-night stand, or- just nothing. I didn't trust anyone. Then Not-Sasha happened, and I... couldn't."
He hums quietly. "I... mm. I trust people here, Jon. Genuinely. I won't be able to say that back home until the Fears are gone."
"...yeah." And a bit of tension leaves his shoulders; he'd half expected Jon to fight him on that, despite himself. "So until then, I'm afraid you're stuck with me again. Shame, that," he adds, with an audible cheeky smirk.
"Someone whose only reliable method of being killed involved indirect brain damage, needs a load of sleep every time they die?" He huffs, tilting his head against Jon's in a half-hearted shrug. "No correlation whatsoever, if you ask me."
"I didn't even have my powers at the time. Bloody inconvenient fluctuations." He nudges him slightly and makes a wordless sound of mock emotional exhaustion from Tim being 'tiresome'.
He breathes out and some of his fatigue, as well as the path of his thoughts, shows a moment later.as they loop around.
"I think you'll like him when you meet him. I'm- I am going to find him eventually."
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He finally reaches over for his tea again. "Strange told me he wanted to help me find enlightenment."
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"Did he have a book and a ten part tape series for you? Offer you a payment plan with free shipping?"
A snort he regrets immediately.
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That is the "how unprofessional" tone, and Jon is clearly insulted as a Barge warden.
...we're not talking about what he did on the Galley.
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"Apparently I was enough of a pressure pot of sheer unadulterated rage that I couldn't possibly be left to my own devices for a second longer than necessary."
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Though he lets out a huff of a laugh.
"You do have quite the temper."
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"Ours, uh... Apparently we crashed it?"
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"Oh, my God. I thought the Brig was bad. I'll have to chase that up later."
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He huffs in amusement.
"You might need to ask Daniel for more. I died...well before some of the more extreme messiness."
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"Are you- I'm assuming you're glad to be back here."
He looks up.
"Jacobi is graduated. I don't think I ever asked if you were planning to stay for anything else."
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He tilts his head slightly so he can meet Jon's gaze.
"I've got another deal I want." His voice is soft, quiet like he's trying not to get his own hopes up. "Giving everyone back the memories the Not-Them took."
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"Good," and his voice is a little hoarse with all that. "I'm here for another as well, though Daniel's... got some time to go."
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"I'm planning on sticking around," he says quietly. "For as long as you need me."
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"You shouldn't-
"You don't have to do that, Tim. You don't- I don't want to hold you back from- from anything."
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"Jon-" there's no annoyance there, just-- exasperation, and a soft kind of sadness. "It's not-- you're not holding me back, here, don't ever think that."
His hand stills, and he puts his mug down again. "I... I don't have anything back home, right now. That I want to stay for. Sasha's alive, yeah, but..."
He doesn't remember her. And he can't do that to himself. He refuses to. So he's quiet for a minute, mulling it over.
"...I don't have a life outside the Institute, you know?" He's not looking at Jon, just staring at a spot near the door. "That's not me being self-deprecating, I just... you three were the first meaningful- real connections I had since Danny died. Everyone else was research follow-up, or a one-night stand, or- just nothing. I didn't trust anyone. Then Not-Sasha happened, and I... couldn't."
He hums quietly. "I... mm. I trust people here, Jon. Genuinely. I won't be able to say that back home until the Fears are gone."
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"Same. We'll- we'll figure it out. Hopefully with a minimum of mistakes but- eventually, we'll get there regardless."
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"I'm probably going to fall asleep on you as it is."
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"I wouldn't say I'm opposed to a nap, honestly," he says warmly. "God knows I've missed out on so much beauty sleep."
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"I always sleep an ungodly amount while tolling."
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He breathes out and some of his fatigue, as well as the path of his thoughts, shows a moment later.as they loop around.
"I think you'll like him when you meet him. I'm- I am going to find him eventually."
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"Looking forward to it. I'll help you with that too, obviously."
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