ARCHIVIST [In a halfway decent impression of Tim Curry] Helloooo, errant explorers of these old archives. I'm Joey Magnificent, and welcome - to the spooky stylings and true tales of the horrific and macabre from the depths of... The Magnus Institute.
[EXTENDED PAUSE. FOR EFFECT?]
[A self-admonishing laugh.] Oh God, I can't use that. How do you rewind this--
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
ARCHIVIST Well, at least we know it works. Right then.
[A QUIET BREATH, THEN A BRISK, BRACING EXHALE.]
My name- my real name - is Timothy Stoker, and I am the head archivist at the Magnus Institute, London.
[PAPERS RUSTLE BRIEFLY]
We are, as per our website, a "public organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal".
In the public perception, we... collect spooky claptrap.
Mr. Elias Bouchard, the current head of the Magnus Institute has elevated me from a lowly grunt drowning in Research, to replace the previous Head Archivist, a Mrs- uhh. Miss? Ms Gertrude Robinson, since, well. May she rest in peace, is all I'll say.
I've worked in Research for nearly three years now, so I'm familiar with a good majority of the subject matter that gets delivered to the Institute, as well as how most of the items that get turned over to us don't necessarily have anything come of them. Everyone wants their story to be the next big thing, the- the concrete proof that the supernatural exists, but we very rarely encounter submissions to the Institute that do appear to be genuine. Mostly because, well. If it's real, how do you prove it? Well, when you can't, and you've run out of leads, it goes to the Archives.
--oh, I also have a masters in Anthropology from Trinity, with a major in mythology and a thesis on cultural relativity. Not a particularly compelling qualification to run an archive, but that is why I have my three lovely assistants! Sasha James, whom I'm fairly certain Gertrude would have picked for her successor, I'm just saying-- and Jonathan Sims, both of whom worked alongside me in Research, and Mr. Bouchard also assigned Martin Blackwood to assist. I don't know Martin well, he used to work in the library, but he seems... willing, to give it the old college try.
[A QUIET INHALE THROUGH TEETH]
And frankly, we could use the help. I'm sitting in my office, I can already see thousands of files. Some are just sitting in piles, or shoved in unmarked boxes, it's just so many HSE violations. I see a few helpful labels, like- 86-91 G/H, but also, like. All of them are hand-written or made on a typewriter, I'm pretty sure my laptop is the first piece of tech more complicated than a stapler down here in decades. But the actual worst part is, they didn't store any of the prior research done here, so all we have is the statements.
That's why Sasha, Jon and Martin will be assisting me by performing research while I record statements, and then we can tack a summary of their discoveries onto the end afterwards as supplementary information, for stage one of the next great step this place needs - digitisation. On my laptop where I can, but some will have to be done on this tape recorder, since when I try them digitally there's these insane audio distortions that make it unusable.
But yeah, there's not really gonna be much... order to this, sorry guys. The best we can do is tackle what's directly in front of us.
[DISTANT SOUND OF A PAPER AVALANCHE]
...or what falls on our heads. But we'll do our best, and I apologise for the ongoing mess as we try to straighten everything out.
So. [Another bracing breath.] Let's get to it, shall we?
Statement of Nathan Watts, regarding an... encounter on Old Fishmarket Close, Edinburgh. Original statement given April 22nd 2012. Audio recording by Timothy Stoker, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[In a halfway decent impression of Tim Curry] Helloooo, errant explorers of these old archives. I'm Joey Magnificent, and welcome - to the spooky stylings and true tales of the horrific and macabre from the depths of... The Magnus Institute.
[EXTENDED PAUSE. FOR EFFECT?]
[A self-admonishing laugh.] Oh God, I can't use that. How do you rewind this--
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
ARCHIVIST
Well, at least we know it works. Right then.
[A QUIET BREATH, THEN A BRISK, BRACING EXHALE.]
My name- my real name - is Timothy Stoker, and I am the head archivist at the Magnus Institute, London.
[PAPERS RUSTLE BRIEFLY]
We are, as per our website, a "public organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal".
In the public perception, we... collect spooky claptrap.
Mr. Elias Bouchard, the current head of the Magnus Institute has elevated me from a lowly grunt drowning in Research, to replace the previous Head Archivist, a Mrs- uhh. Miss? Ms Gertrude Robinson, since, well. May she rest in peace, is all I'll say.
I've worked in Research for nearly three years now, so I'm familiar with a good majority of the subject matter that gets delivered to the Institute, as well as how most of the items that get turned over to us don't necessarily have anything come of them. Everyone wants their story to be the next big thing, the- the concrete proof that the supernatural exists, but we very rarely encounter submissions to the Institute that do appear to be genuine. Mostly because, well. If it's real, how do you prove it? Well, when you can't, and you've run out of leads, it goes to the Archives.
--oh, I also have a masters in Anthropology from Trinity, with a major in mythology and a thesis on cultural relativity. Not a particularly compelling qualification to run an archive, but that is why I have my three lovely assistants! Sasha James, whom I'm fairly certain Gertrude would have picked for her successor, I'm just saying-- and Jonathan Sims, both of whom worked alongside me in Research, and Mr. Bouchard also assigned Martin Blackwood to assist. I don't know Martin well, he used to work in the library, but he seems... willing, to give it the old college try.
[A QUIET INHALE THROUGH TEETH]
And frankly, we could use the help. I'm sitting in my office, I can already see thousands of files. Some are just sitting in piles, or shoved in unmarked boxes, it's just so many HSE violations. I see a few helpful labels, like- 86-91 G/H, but also, like. All of them are hand-written or made on a typewriter, I'm pretty sure my laptop is the first piece of tech more complicated than a stapler down here in decades. But the actual worst part is, they didn't store any of the prior research done here, so all we have is the statements.
That's why Sasha, Jon and Martin will be assisting me by performing research while I record statements, and then we can tack a summary of their discoveries onto the end afterwards as supplementary information, for stage one of the next great step this place needs - digitisation. On my laptop where I can, but some will have to be done on this tape recorder, since when I try them digitally there's these insane audio distortions that make it unusable.
But yeah, there's not really gonna be much... order to this, sorry guys. The best we can do is tackle what's directly in front of us.
[DISTANT SOUND OF A PAPER AVALANCHE]
...or what falls on our heads. But we'll do our best, and I apologise for the ongoing mess as we try to straighten everything out.
So. [Another bracing breath.] Let's get to it, shall we?
Statement of Nathan Watts, regarding an... encounter on Old Fishmarket Close, Edinburgh. Original statement given April 22nd 2012. Audio recording by Timothy Stoker, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
Statement begins.