TLV: IC Inbox

[statementfuckingends]

You've reached Timothy Stoker, leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you.

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[corkscrewed]

[ martin groans out loud at that. ] The biggest favor you could do me is pretending you're not way more integrated with people here after three months than I am in three years.

[statementfuckingends]

[That gets a sharp, slightly mean bark of laughter.]

That's not integration, Seed was going to shank me. He's an absolute nutter, and Carol's his psychopath lackey.

[corkscrewed]

Nah, just the "I'll have to give the list a look." [ martin's nose wrinkles very slightly. ] Dying here does suck pretty badly? So be careful.

[statementfuckingends]

[That gets a bit of a grim smile.]

Can't imagine it's much worse than the explosion. Or Jacobi killing me that last flood.

[corkscrewed]

Wait, you died?

[statementfuckingends]

[He grimaces gently.]

I mean, not like that. I was an avatar of the End and an Inmate besides. Jacobi was my bestie in the, like... weird Flood version of things, but he was a member of the Hunt.

[Which, he hopes Martin can piece the dots there.]

That's what I gave the statement on for Jon, what my life was like on that one.

[corkscrewed]

No, no, I get it -

[ jon had already mentioned the circumstances. he just doesn't love it. ]

Either nothing is happening or everything is so much, nonstop. [ said with a long-suffering sigh, not with an air of serious heaviness. ]

[statementfuckingends]

[He drapes an arm over the back of the couch so he can rest his head on his chin.]

So really, business as usual for us.

You're welcome to listen to the tape, by the way. I let Jon keep it.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin has given up pretense now, with the way he's sort of just flopped against tim in whatever way is most comfortable at any given moment. he is a bit shifty and restless, but more like a cat that can't decide which way is most comfortable. ]

No offense, but - probably not? Not that I'm not happy to hear about it, I'm just kind of through with tapes, I think. [ his nose wrinkles. ] Has he told you about the coffin? Has he told you how he got out of the coffin?

[statementfuckingends]

[He wrinkles his nose, lowering his tea before he takes the sip.]

Eugh, yeah. He told us about Jared and how the ribs didn't even work in the end, it was you leaving the running tapes all over the coffin that did it.

[corkscrewed]

They followed us through the whole apocalypse, too. Do you know how aggravating that was? Invasive.

[statementfuckingends]

[He doesn't even try to keep the sing-song teasing out of his otherwise flat voice.]

Now you know how I felt~

[corkscrewed]

I think we all felt that way. [ a very gentle nudge, just because he doesn't want tea all over his sofa. ] They reappeared the second Jon came out of his coma. It was so weird.

[statementfuckingends]

[Martin has way more tea than Tim at this point, his mug's only two thirds full.]

Somehow that's even more obnoxious than the all-knowing bullshit. Mystery tape recorders stalking us.

[corkscrewed]

But, hey - none here, at least. That's something.

[statementfuckingends]

Only if you don't bother Jon too hard. [With a slightly snide look on his face.] The longer a conversation with him goes on, the odds of a tape recorder appearing approach one.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will commit the ultimate sacrilege: he will dip two fingertips in his cooling tea and flick it right at tim's face. ]

[statementfuckingends]

[Tim full-body flinches at the sudden flicks of tepid tea: his legs jerk back off Martin's lap and smacks his own mug, spilling a generous slosh of tea onto both his thigh and the couch cushion.]

Martin!!

[He wipes his face with the cuff of his sleeve and gives Martin an utterly betrayed look.]

I thought you loved me!

[corkscrewed]

You spilled it!

[ martin is laughing despite himself, because he wasn't expecting such a reaction. ]

Oh my god, you're worse than a cat.

[statementfuckingends]

Are you throwing tea at your cat as well?!

[It's easy playing up his indignation - he's not even really that mad, and the wet patch is (thankfully) on the outside of his thigh, and is very quickly going cold in his jeans.]

You're a monster, wasting tea and traumatising defenceless cats, Martin Blackwood!

[epistemological]

Who is traumatizing my cat?!

[ Tim has probably never heard Jon so genuinely scandalized. Tim has, in fact, never seen Jon cuddling with his cat.

At the moment, he's walking through the door, but it's clear he's looking for the cat.]

[corkscrewed]

[ martin's head snaps up at the sound of jon's voice and he laughs once, a short but loud noise, and he's trying to wrestle tim's mug out of his hand. ]

Tim's here making a mess, Jon, we've got to kick him out.

[statementfuckingends]

[Admittedly Tim's humour does wane a little when he hears the door click as Jon walks in, but Martin's little laugh has his grin nearly back in full, and one leg stretches across Martin's lap again automatically to brace himself as he tries valiantly to keep his cup at bay without spilling more.]

Oh, right, kick me out because Blackwood has the audacity to start throwing tea around! What's next, biscuits down my shirt?!

[epistemological]

[ There's a long huff, followed by a snort. ]

As long as you keep- [ this, of course, is when cat!Sasha decides to come daintily trotting out of the den to greet him and he's going to lean down and scoop up his ] my darling little girl [ throat clear ] out of it, he can put the sugar in your socks for all I care.

[ He walks into the den then to where the other two are. ]

...you're both ridiculous.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin's shoulders are shaking with laughter and he cuffs tim's ankle again as if pinning him there, somehow making it look like he's come out of this victorious. ]

Hey, can you go get me the biscuits? I need them.