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[statementfuckingends]

You've reached Timothy Stoker, leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you.

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after his discussion with Dorian

[epistemological]

...Tim. Tim, I need you to explain something to me. I am clearly missing something here.

[statementfuckingends]

...an unusual request from Google-dot-spooky, but sure. Shoot, boss.

[epistemological]

So.

Dorian and myself were having a discussion and Dorian was being ridiculous, as he tends to be, and I pointed it out, of course and he told me to hush. I pointed out that I am only hush while sleeping, essentially, and he responded...

By saying he ought to put something my mouth to hush me up.

Now, I realize most people assume me to be rather normal on sight but Dorian is well aware I don't eat so I reminded him as such and he got rather frustrated with me and then he says that what he was trying to intimate, with his little quip, was that his cock would be in my mouth.

[ A long pause. ]

And he called it flirting. How is that flirting?

[statementfuckingends]

[Somehow the fact that it was Jon being flirted with should have occurred to him sooner - that's about the only thing Jon ever needs explained - but somehow it's still so unexpected that he has to snort and put his tablet down for a second to get himself back under control before he outright laughs/]

Oh, Jon.

[It's entirely fond, tinted heavily with his amusement, but he takes a moment to clear his throat and pull himself together.]

Alright, um. Right. So. What part is the most confusing, exactly, is it Dorian attempting some horrible pick-up lines on you, or the line itself?

[epistemological]

Oh, Dorian's already made it clear he has feelings for me, which, frankly, I don't understand at all given his usual taste. I assumed he'd be more inclined to go after you of the two of us.

[ And some resounding silence on how Jon feels. Because Jon feels a lot of things.

He shakes his head. ]

It's the line itself! It's not even complimentary! It's- it's rude. And just a touch entitled or over-confident, I can't decide which.

[statementfuckingends]

Oh he likes me, but I'll only take Dorian to bed if he stops trying to use me for a drunken pity fuck. I've got standards.

[He takes a breath as he thinks about how to explain it in a way Jon will parse.]

Okay, Jon? Most people - the ones that aren't ace, they like to be told they're- you know, sexy sometimes. The point of a pick-up line-- anthropologically speaking? is to indicate positive sexual interest. That particular line is implying that he'd like you to give him a blowjob because he thinks you're prattling on about nonsense, and your mouth could be put to better use.

[epistemological]

I do know that, Timothy, I'm not that dense. And ace or not, I can enjoy a compliment as well as the next person.

I'm just saying if he'd said he'd prefer I give him a blowjob over prattling on about something, I could see the compliment!

...a bit backhanded, but still.

[throatclear]

But saying I should just seems presumptuous. You don't think it's a touch presumptuous?

[statementfuckingends]

Just covering my bases, Jonathan.

Never let it be said that Dorian is neither presumptuous or back-handed, mind you. I wouldn't be surprised if he's going to try and needle you into getting all up in his face so he can make you shut up by kissing you.

[epistemological]

...he has done that before.

[statementfuckingends]

Oh my god, of course he has.

Jon, he is mad about you.

[epistemological]

Wait a minute, what?

[statementfuckingends]

[Tim is just. Struck silent by that for a moment.]

...Jon, seriously? He's less subtle than Martin! He's practically screaming from the heavens how he adores you!

[epistemological]

I would...

I wouldn't say that.

Like I said, he did tell me he had feelings for me. I just- I, um...

I...








I don't know what to do about it.

[statementfuckingends]

Well, you don't have to do anything.

[His voice is softer now, understanding of poor Jon's plight.]

He's not making you uncomfortable with any of it, is he? Mostly you just sound exasperated, which is practically an admission of fondness from you.

[epistemological]

Yes, well, there is fondness. Quite a lot of fondness, to be honest.

I just-

After-

...I just feel like I'm going to end up hurting him more than anything.

[statementfuckingends]

[He hums in soft acknowledgement.]

You do know he probably feels the same way about you?

[epistemological]

I...

He can't.

[statementfuckingends]

Jon.

You are not the first person to worry about hurting the people you care about. Even with spooky powers.

[epistemological]

No, that would be ludicrous I just-

I don't... know how he could.

[statementfuckingends]

...how do you mean? You're not unloveable.

Look, you both want the other to be happy, that's the biggest thing. Everything else is your own self esteem trying to throw up red flags.

[epistemological]

[ A blink. ]

What? No- I don't think I'm unloveable.

I just... I don't... really know how he could hurt me. It's not as if I don't know what I'm getting into.

But I've had exactly two actual relationships and I... seem to be the common factor in fucking it up.

[statementfuckingends]

Alright, so explain to me how you think you'd hurt him.

[epistemological]

[ There's a pause before- ]

...I'm not... very good at knowing what someone needs. Or what they want. O-or how to take care of them.

[statementfuckingends]

Okay, that's fair. Those are good concerns to have.

But they're also really easily solvable, too. It's just a matter of good communication. You can always ask someone what they want, or what they might need, and you can ask them to tell you explicitly when they want or need something, so you don't need to try and guess.

A lot of taking care of someone is just getting used to the way they like to receive affection, and working within that so they recognise the effort.

[epistemological]

[ He lets out a breath. ]

Except when the person you love will put up with all manner of things, will let themselves be frustrated and unhappy and lonely and-

[ He breathes in slowly. ]

Georgie wanted things I couldn't give her. Martin... Martin could never thrive here, but he stayed for me.